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Two extreme opinions “I hate me” and “I like me very much” show that you are not in a state of happiness. –
Pursuit of “who I am” leads to conclusion of “I am just me.”
I made a comment on yesterday’s article: “people who judge themselves can’t be happy.” There are some people who have negative image of themselves and “hate themselves.” If they have too strong negative image, I wonder if they would become people with a “bottomless inferiority complex” as tweeted below by Mr. Tsutomu Yoshihama. Seeing the replies to the said tweets, we can understand there are many people who say “every item is true for them.”
As seen in the second tweet saying “a person who has a deep inferiority complex fights against self-denial on a daily basis,” it is not desirable to be in such a state of mind. However, a person who indulges in bottomless superiority complex, the completely opposite type of person, does not seem to be happy. Such person might be a narcissist. In a word, I suppose that these two extreme opinions do not show a happy state of mind.
People who achieve enlightenment do not “dislike themselves” or do not “like themselves very much. Just ask anybody who achieves enlightenment. They will answer, saying “You ask me about what I think about myself and I can say I am just me.”
The pursuit of “who I am” will have you reach the conclusion of “I am just me.” “To reach” is a wrong expression because I who pursue my ideal do not exist.
Patanjali’s “Yoga Sutra” starts with the phrase: “Yoga is the cessation of the movements in consciousness”, followed by “When you are in a state of yoga, all misconceptions (vrittis) that can exist in the mutable aspect of human beings (chitta) disappear.”
“The movements in consciousness” is a difficult expression. It would be easily understood when you think it means “movements of consciousness which pursuits your own ideals.” The phrase means that “a person who achieves enlightenment is calm in consciousness and always feels comfortable with himself.” In a word, as written in tweet, he has neither “inner voice” which blames him or “inner voice” which praise him.
Regrettably, we cannot reach this state of consciousness at once. It is necessary to just keep watching your mind, neither confirming nor denying it. Maybe, disease treatment fits with spiritual training methodology. The point is neither to affirm nor to deny.
What is it like the state of consciousness just before reaching enlightenment? You sharpen your five senses and continue to be aware of everything inside and outside. Jiddu Krishnamurti, an Indian philosopher, calls this state “total awareness.”
The only way to liberate you from suffering is through gazing your mind and exposing your thought which serves as inner thorn. The moment you become aware, you can make it.
As is often the case with parents, their casual comment serves as curse to children. What should parents do not to curse children? All they have to do is “love children as they are.”
January 3, 2019
Masatoshi Takeshita
Distributed by YouTube – September 7, 2018 –
The word “Get your act together” is forbidden in child-rearing
Speaker: Tsutomu Yoshihama, a counselor on developmental disorder
(Summary)
If parents order children to do something abstract, children cannot understand it and get completely perplexed.
Children cannot experience success and lose self-confidence.
In the worst case, children might suffer from developmental disorder.
If parents explain what they want children to do in concrete terms though it takes much time, children is left with
a sense of fulfilment, which make children get confidence up.
Distributed by Twitter
底なしの劣等感を抱えている人の特徴１— 吉濱ツトム (@yoshihama_t) December 13, 2018
・すみませんが口癖
・罪悪感で人に頼めない
・嫌われる、変に思われる恐怖心が強い
・全て自分が悪いと勘違いする
・過去のやらかしを延々と反芻する
・交流後、自虐的猛省をする
・未来への強い不安と絶望を抱えている
・人付き合いを回避する
・傷つきやすい
Tsutomu Yoshihama
Characteristics of people who have bottomless inferiority complex
*Their favorite phrase is “I’m sorry.”
*They can’t ask others anything out of feeling of guilt.
*They have a strong feeling of fear which makes them feel that they are hated or others think them strange.
*They get the wrong idea that they are blamed for everything.
*They endlessly think back over past mistakes.
*They do masochistic introspection on themselves after keeping company with others.
*They feel a strong anxiety and desperation about future.
*They evade socializing with others.
*They are easily hurt.
深い劣等感を持つ人の日常は自己否定との戦いだ。— 吉濱ツトム (@yoshihama_t) December 22, 2018
つねに内なる声が
・こんなこともできないのか
・なんであんな振る舞いをしたんだ
・上手くいくわけない
・笑われてるぞ
・嫌われてるぞ
・変に思われてるぞ
・断ったら皆いなくなるぞ
・だからダメなんだ
と、自分自身にモラハラの限りを尽くす
Tsutomu Yoshihama
People with a serious inferiority complex daily fight against self-denial.
Inner voice always repeats moral harassment against them by saying:
*I can’t do such a thing
*why did I behave in that manner
*I cannot make it
*I am a laughingstock
*I am hated
*people think I am strange
*everybody’s gone if I say no
*nothing can be done
深い劣等感を抱えている人は— 吉濱ツトム (@yoshihama_t) December 27, 2018
・嫌われる
・変に思われる
ことへの病的な恐怖により、極めて人生の早期から
・自身を捨て
・カメレオンとなり
・周囲に完全な迎合を
・達成することで
・自尊心の防衛を
はかる。
いつしか、呼吸のごとくできるようになる。
自分の正体がわからなくなる。
Tsutomu Yoshihama
People with a serious inferiority complex have a phobia about
*being disliked
*what seems to be strange
And from an extremely early stage of life they
*by self-renunciation,
*by becoming chameleons,
*by completely going along with people around them
*they try to defend pride.
And some day, they will be able to do that like breathing.
They cannot find out their true identity.
ウツや深い劣等感を抱えている人は、１日の大半を— 吉濱ツトム (@yoshihama_t) December 29, 2018
・否定的な自己注目
に費やす。
自分は
・なんてダメな人間だ
・なんであんなことをやらかしたんだ
・あの人は私を嫌ってる
と。
それらの思考に現実的な感情も伴うゆえ、ウツと劣等感は悪化する。
否定的自己注目は加速する。
悪循環に陥る。
Tsutomu Yoshihama
People who suffer from depression or deep inferiority complex spend most of a day
*negatively watching themselves.
And think
*what a no-good I am,
*why I did such a thing or
*that person dislikes me.
Such thought is accompanied by realistic emotions.
It deteriorates depression and inferiority complex.
Negative self-watching accelerate.
And they get into a vicious circle.
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