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A research reveals that a couple’s marital relationship is greatly influenced by that of their parents: Golden rule of good marital relations – Secret of good marital happiness is sex –
A survey shows a finding that children
raised by happily married parents are highly likely to develop a good marital
relationship. According to the reference source, a survey was conducted on the
four groups based on their parents’ marital relationship and they answer a questionnaire
about how their marital relationship changed after marriage. The survey shows quite
interesting findings. I recommend that you read an article in the reference
source.
I am surprised to learn the result: “happy
couples who have parents in love with each other account for nearly 90 percent
of all subjects.” As the survey shows, we can say that the shortest route to making
the world a better place is improvement of marital relationship.
The original article has several pieces of
important advice other than “No. 1 to No.3 golden rules of marital happiness I
quoted. The advice I find particularly interesting is to accurately tell the
other what you want to say and accept all of the other.” I think it is really
an important secret of marital happiness. It is the same with parental
relationship.
Golden rule No. 2 is proper advice for
women. Simple-minded men can never understand the euphemism women often use.
For example, almost no men come to realize that a wife wants to drink tea when asked
“Aren’t you thirsty?” My wife seems to well understand that men are such
creatures. She has not used euphemism to our son and forced him to send her a bunch
of flowers by candidly saying “A bunch of flowers on Mother’s Day!” For this
very reason, my son never fails to send a bouquet of flowers on Mother’s Day
every year. Every time she receives it, my wife is so happy by saying “how nice
my son is!”
I teach my son the secret of how to
befriend women by type of *Taiheki as
kingcraft. He was moved very much by how to come closer to the Leftwards and Rightwards category (Types 3 and 4).
*Taiheki
is a concept on one’s bodily tendency in sensitivity, temperament, movement and personality, which is
established by Haruchika Noguchi. (Wikipedia)
Actually, there is a much simpler fact. All
couples who have poor marital relations share the fact that they have poor
sexual relations 99% of the time; one or both of the couple are dissatisfied
with the relations. Unless this problem is solved, it is almost meaningless to
talk about various secrets of good marital relations.
This is the very reason why I have often
recommended that you read the book “Sex Perfection and Marital Happiness” by Rudolf von Urban, M.D. (New York: The Dial Press, Inc. 1949) (Japanese edition:Yasousha).
I wonder how many women can understand the
essential meaning of a quite simple rule: Golden Rule No. 3- “Do what a husband
wants”. It is very simple and all you have to do is “not to refuse when a
husband wants you.” Women can’t understand this and husbands can’t understand
why they are refused. This causes almost every tragedy in this world.
August
17, 2917
Masatoshi
Takeshita
Note:
Shanti-phula has indicated some parts of
the following text in black boldface type or in red letters.
English translation of a Japanese article: Menjoy
– July 28, 2017 –
Divorce is inherited!? Survey reveals: “Parents’
marital relations impact on children”
It is said that “children grow as they look
at the back of their parents.” I wonder how much impact
do parents’ marital relations have on their children.
<snip>
What has happened to children raised by
parents in love with each other after marriage?
Do you have good or bad marital relations?
[Subjects who have parents in love with
each other]
*in love with each other
* rather good
*not so good *on the verge of divorce or have
already been divorced
<snip>
What a surprise! Happy
couples whose parents are in love with each other account for nearly 90 percent
of all subjects! This is an incredible figure though
the study population is not so large.
<snip>
Golden
rule of marital happiness No. 1: Honestly talk about each other.
<snip>
Golden
rule of marital happiness No. 2: Not complain to each other about
dissatisfaction but convey how you feel.
<snip> Not blame the other
one-sidedly by saying “You are wrong there!” but try to come face-to-face with
yourself to know what you really want your husband to do. And then, tell how
you feel and what you want by specifically saying “I feel sorry if you do … and
I want you to do this if possible.”
Golden
rule of marital happiness No. 3: Respect the other’s opinion, too.
If you want the other to listen to your
opinion, never forget to respect the other’s opinion, too. Stop what your husband does not want you to do. Instead, do
what your husband wants you to do. It is a very simple rule. <snip>
Take much time to talk together to find common
ground.
(The rest is omitted)